09.30.08
some good advice….
This past weekend, I had the pleasure of going to a women’s retreat with my mother-in-law. It was up at the Canterbury Hills Conference & Retreat center in Ancaster, Ontario and sponsored by a sister church. Initially, I was concerned about “cabining” it over the weekend being almost 3 months pregnant and feeling nauseous, dizzy and having my issues with food, but, in the end, I decided to go and it was a great time. The sisterhood and camaraderie I felt among the women was wonderful and it was just nice to be supported, loved and encouraged by other women — esp those who have “been there”.
In answer to a question that was asked of the group, I had made mention about being currently pregnant, having had a prior miscarriage and the difficulty this presented to my faith. Questions about “why did God allow us to get pregnant and then have a miscarriage?; “will this baby survive”, “is God now entrusting us with a child and going to not let me miscarry” have plagued my mind constantly and I have to remind myself that God loves me and gives me these desires on my heart and also does answer prayer. Well, when at the retreat, and the question about “What bad things in your life have happened but you realized that God would make beautiful in His own time……“ Well, that was my cue. The miscarriage — something I didn’t really “appreciate”, I realized was actually a blessing and God did answer our prayer to have a family now, almost 2 years later. Some of you readers might be thinking….”what, a miscarriage as a blessing???“. Well, when I had my miscarriage it was around the time that my husband and I were separate and living in different countries due to immigration issues. (My Canadian husband wasn’t allowed to renew his work visa to return to the States). I (an American) was currently living and working in the States and therefore, had health insurance through my job. If I was to move to Canada, it would be on an iffy and very temporary basis (w/no visa and waiting for it to process) and no health insurance — costing us ALOT of money to have a baby in another country! If I was to remain in the States and have the baby, I would go through my pregnancy, delivery and newborn-hood alone and have to email/phone my husband to give updates. Bottom line, we weren’t to be pregnant THEN and we are to be pregnant NOW —we have the ability and God-given opportunity to experience it together!
Of course, this begs the question…”why would God allow you to get pregnant in the first place if He knew that you and your husband were going to be separate”? I don’t claim to know the inner workings of my Creator, but I know that He loves me and “in all things God works for the good of those who love him” (Romans 8:28). Maybe there was a lot for me to learn and that was the only way in which I would have learned….But I don’t have all the answers and as I am going to say to our children when they have questions that I can’t answer: “Put it on a sticky note and ask God when you meet Him in Heaven” :
So the aforementioned question was based on the scripture: “He has made everything beautiful in its time” (Eccl 3:11). Well, its interesting….I hadn’t even meant to write everything that I just did. But maybe I was meant to, thanks to God, for maybe one of your readers out there in blog-world needed to hear one of my life-changing experiences and how it brought me closer to God. But, the originally “good advice” as the blog title references, is something that I was told at the women’s retreat. One women said, “Until you are passed the nausea/vomiting stage completely, don’t eat popcorn”. I was dismayed for that is one of my favorite foods!!! Her reason: “It doesn’t get chewed or digested well, so when you vomit it up, it scratches your throat and hurts a lot!”. Good advice, no? 
09.26.08
“it’s not a cookie…
…it’s the cookie that thinks it’s a fruit” ….(the Fig Newton cookie slogan, for all those Americans out there).
Today, our little one is the size of a fig and about an inch and a half big. That’s around the size of my thumb!
So the fig is an interesting little fruit…here’s some interesting facts.
- The fig belongs to the same genus as the mulberry and can be traced back to regions in the Middle East and the Mediterranean.
- The fig has biblical roots: The Common Fig tree (Ficus carica) is the first plant cited in the Bible. Genesis 3:7 describes how Adam and Eve cover themselves with fig leaves when they discover that they are naked. The fig fruit is also included in the list of food found in the Promised Land, according to the Torah (Deut. 8). They are wheat, barley, grapes, figs, pomegranates, olives, dates (representing the honey).
- The fig is actually a fruit in an enclosed inflorescence (also termed a syconium) meaning an urn-like structure with the actually fruit – the flowers – on the inside. If you have ever cut open a fig, inside you see little tiny flowers each with it’s own seed.
- To pollinate, the fig fruit “employs” tiny wasps – known as fig wasps – that enter the inflorescences from a little hole in the outward end to lay their own eggs, but end up pollinating the fig from all of the moving around. And just fyi, when the wasp dies in the fig, enzymes from the fig break it down. Also, fig wasps are not known to transmit any diseases to humans.
- The Fig Newton was created in 1891 by Charles M. Roser of the Kennedy Biscuit Company, a Massachusetts-based bakery. The company named many of their products after surrounding communities so the Fig Newton was named after Newton, Massachusetts. At first, it was called the Newton but the name was changed to Fig Newton in 1898 to show how it was different from any other cookie! The Kennedy Biscuit Company, in 1898, merged with other regional bakeries to form the National Biscuit Company (NABISCO).
So when your done trying to find the words to that crazy Fig Newton song, here is a yummy “Figs wrapped in Prosciutto” recipe. Enjoy!
http://recipes.epicurean.com/recipe/21475/prosciutto-and-figs.html
09.25.08
…or, more like a choo-choo train!
It was a moment for us yesterday at our midwives appt.
The night before (and actually, for a number of days now….) I have been feeling a little bit of a sharp pain in my lower right side of the abdomen, esp when getting out of bed, turning, sneezing, coughing or laughing out loud. Already having thought “it’s probably gas, a crazy intestinal bloat or a muscle that is getting pinched”, at some point, my mind starts to worry. What if I am having this crazy last-minute ectopic pregnancy and my fallopian tube is expanding in ways it shouldn’t be? I won’t go into everything I thought, but it was definitely what if, what if, what if. I don’t think I have fully recovered from the anxiety of our first miscarriage…..I eventually calmed myself down and just said “It’s all in God’s hands”.
At the midwives appt, she wanted to see if she could get the baby’s heartbeat on the hand-held device. She said that my uterus is definitely moving “center and upwards” (a good thing!). For a couple of minutes, she’s moving around the monitor and all we hear is my heart beat. At some point, she says, “sometimes it’s just too early bc the baby is so tiny”. My past fears are starting to come forward and I am looking for reassurance and she says “there is definitely a lot of blood flow in the area but that it may be too early to hear the heartbeat” and then —– there it is! I heard it for a second….and so she kept moving around. Even though my “heartbeat was very strong –outsounding the baby’s”….she did eventually catch the baby’s heartbeat and my husband and I got to hear a great heart-song for about 30 seconds. “That’s your baby”, she says! AMEN! The baby sounded a little like a speedy choo-choo train..and I have to say “choo-choo” not because I am trying to prepare myself for that “mommy” language but because that was phonetically what the heartbeat sounded like! It was just downright amazing. I love you baby. I love you husband. I love you God for giving us a child!
So, thank you, little one, for giving me that little present of reassurance and confirmation that you are okay!
Oh, and btw, that little pain I was referring to earlier in this post is obviously not an ectopic waiting to happen, but a fibroid that is getting a bit pushed out of the way. A year ago, we had found out that I had a fibroid. I wonder why they just didn’t remove it when I had the DNC from the miscarriage. My current midwife said that for a little while, the fibroid will hurt a little bc its getting a little pinched but that I am still having those “output” issues and was told to fix my pregnancy diet. (No, I am not dieting….) I was told to eat 7 times!!! 3 meals and 4 snacks….and drink 32oz of water every day!!! So that pretty much means I am eating and drinking a cup of water every 2 hours! Wowzers!
So after getting “talked to” by the midwife I went to the grocery store and got all the things she suggested. Our grocery bill was about $100 — as opposed to $40 I normally spend!! It shocked us! But, some of the things will last a while —- had to bulk up on the dried fruit, peanuts, beans etc.
Which reminds me —— it’s that time…off to eat my 10am yogurt and fruit to keep our little choo-choo train on the go!
09.24.08
A Breeze of Energy!
Since the last post, this last week has been fantastic!
I guess weeks 9 and 10 — was my (late) “initiation into 1st trimester” for I experienced ALL the morning (and evening) sickness I hadn’t yet experienced, with the additional bonus of dizziness, irritability, soreness etc etc. Actually, it was the first time that I vomited. And of all the “sick” symptoms, I have to say — I really don’t enjoy vomiting…give me sneezing, stuffy/runny noses any day! But I was there just coughing away and all of a sudden……it just came up! Then, my chest was hurting — like serious scare-you-out “am I having a heart attack” hurting. For about 2 hours. I ended up calling the midwife and she said that my vomiting was probably “too violent” for my diaphragm and it was just affecting my circulation, heart and system….wierd eh?
And then the next morning, I woke up and had a mission for my day! I then worked on creating a 3 PAGE list of house things that I would like to complete (before the baby is born), worked on a few, cleaned up the house and even cooked! (That’s a bonus for me — for I haven’t even been in the kitchen for the last week or so!) Many women talk about the “crazy organizing” that happens in the 9 month so my dear husband, I guess brace yourself….for I already have that 3 page list!
Week 10 was supposed to be a growth spurt for the baby and oh boy did you see it in my belly!! It’s probably all still bloat and gas, but I was sporting a bump that I was very proud of……Some people even asked “Are you sure it’s just one in there”? Yeah, according to the initial 6 week ultrasound….
Speaking of which, today is my midwives appointment and I am very excited! More to come…..
09.18.08
Once a grape, now a kumquat and onto being a mac truck!
my 10 week old fruit
Today our baby makes 10 weeks and has graduated from the size of a grape to a kumquat! And with only being a little over an inch big, s/he has the ability to completely kick my butt! 
I just finished a coughing fest which took me by storm and it was one of those moments where I wasn’t sure if I was going to throw up — but my throat is really dry and oh yah, that constant feeling of nauseau. Hmmm, for some strange reason, the Muhammad Ali quote “Float like a butterfly. Sting like a bee” came to mind….Thanks to my husband for being there to rub my back as I just kept spitting the excess saliva. And sorry for the dramatic details!
It’s amazing that w/in a couple of weeks, the baby will double in size and become about 3 inches at the end of the first trimester! Wow! I really can’t wait for the end of the first trimester for I hope at that time that I will be back to my normal self — just feeling not so out of it!
Yesterday, I looked at nursery bedding and of course, all the ones that I am like “WOW I really like those” come with the silent but deadly CHA-CHING sound…..it’s crazy —- $600 for a 3-4 piece bedding set. Sheesh, for that price, it should be the whole room – paint and painters included! With the price being so high, I am really contemplating sewing my own bedding for the nursery. I am not so sure of how idealistic that sounds — esp when I can’t convince myself to get out of my robe and go for a measly walk!
But the additional difficulty is that we have decided not to find out what gender the baby is until delivery. That makes it doubly hard to really choose a color or pattern. We are already going to paint the room in a light unisex green…..I don’t want everything to be green…..
Anyway, back to the kumquat. Some interesting facts:
- They are fruit-bearing trees from the genus, Fortunella. I thought that was interesting for sometimes my husband calls me Ella and we are very fortunate and blessed to be “fruit-bearing”!
- The branches sometimes bears small thorns……ah ha! So that’s why I’ve been feeling this way….
- It can survive freezing temperatures, but does best in warmer climates….(Just like it’s mama!)
- They are rarely grown from seeds, as they don’t do well on their own roots so they have to be grafted to other fruits, mostly sour oranges and grapefruit, but don’t do well with lemons. (Isn’t it interesting that right now, my uterus is the size of a grapefruit and this baby is grafted onto/into me for survival??)
- It’s becoming more common for the fruit to be used as a garnish in a martini instead of the classic olive. Hm. Even though I don’t like martinis, this is an interesting idea. Though, I am really digging olives right now!
- Kumquats are eaten whole. Even the rind. Oh.
- Apparently, are the “little gems” of the citrus family. My thoughts exactly when it comes to our little one on the way.
Here’s a link to a Kumquat Spice Cookie recipe….enjoy!
http://www.homemakers.com/food&nutrition/ourrecipes/kumquat-spice-drop-cookies-r20521.html
09.17.08
“Highlights” so far….
1. The countless number of times that I wake up in the middle of the night and have to go to the washroom. I guess, normally, it wouldn’t be a problem. However, it takes SO long for me to find a comfortable position once getting back in bed. I can’t fall asleep right away.
2. The desire to eat EXACTLY at 4am. My eyes just pop open and I have to eat right now! Which of course then does mean that I will have to use the washroom in about a half hour and not (again) be able to go to sleep.
3. The occasional “visitor” in our bedroom. The other night, we had a bat in our bedroom and it woke me up from scratching on the wall. Ewwww. It’s *almost* a funny story. I woke my husband up “honey, is there something in the room”. He watches and says “I think there is a bat outside the window”. He gets up, turns on the light and says “Oh, the bat is in the room. Here, cover your head.” And throws the king-size comforter over me. A bat was the absolute *last* thing that I thought was in the room —- and I just wanted to get out of the room! But with this gigantic comforter on me —- and not being so coordinated thanks to the pregnancy, I probably would have ran into the dresser! So, I just threw the comforter off of me and ran out the room, into the nursery and slammed the door shut. My husband had a good laugh from that.
4. My irritated self — after any and all of the above have happened — and dealing with being cold one minute and then hot one minute — snapped at DH when he pulled the blanket off of me. I said, “stop moving the blanket” and he said (which probably the last thing I needed to hear) “I didn’t move”….so I ripped the covers off of him and refused to give him any piece of the comforter. No matter that it’s a king-size and I probably would have died from heat exhaustion trying to hoard it all and prove my point!
5. Finding mammoth-sized olives to be a pure eating delight!
6. Finding a change table, box of toys and baby carrier for around 20 bucks!
7. Having our first donation of baby clothes!!!
8. The constant dreams of me and our baby —- which interestingly is ALWAYS a boy!
9. Not really a highlight, but it has been showcasing itself —– the constant nauseau. Sometimes, I get so frustrated! Just throw up, already….but nope, just this constant yuck feeling.
10. The prenatal vitamins and how they affect my um, output!
11. Having to buy my first pair of maternity pants!!!! Was a little overwhelming, but definitely fun! And score, I got a pair on sale for $7.49!
12. The daily “gag” fest from brushing my teeth…..not fun at all.
And the weeks that have slinked by…(from old blog 9/16/08)
wow, it’s been about 3-4 weeks since I’ve last blogged….hehehe and I just realized how much “pregnant brain” I have….it was really hard for me to figure out how many weeks is between August 24th (last post I believe) and today’s date (which I don’t know…)….it’s amazing how absent minded and just “fogged out” I have become…
anyhow. so the last number of weeks….have been interesting. I WISH that I was one of those women who never experience morning sickness…but alas, I am not. Mornings are really rough. After a night of going to the washroom to empty the bladder about 3 times, trying to readjust and get comfy again (with the stomach and the growing boobs), fighting with whether or not I am hot or cold, figuring out whether I am REALLY that hungry or not to get out of the bed, I finally drift off again, only to be woken up a couple of hours later. This only to be repeated again in a few hours later. It’s crazy! So then the morning finally comes around, and I am starving and having that nauseous feeling that “if I don’t eat now, it will be the end of everything”……but nothing appeals to me and just makes me feel worse. And in the name of trying to be a good mother-to-be, I have to force myself to eat something….
After this whole episode, I just feel like I can’t get going during the day. All I want to do is sleep or google nurseries…..or craft projects. I’ve had some cravings — mostly Chinese food and IHOP home fries (which unfortunately, that craving is on hold, for in Canada, we don’t have an IHOP yet!)….but I get the wierdest satisfaction from Chef Boyardee and mammoth sized olives. Not together though…ewwww…
The Expected…and the not-so Expected (from old blog 8/27/08)
So yesterday, was our first ultrasound. We were to have an early one for two reasons: 1) to date the pregnancy…(I couldn’t really answer the “when was the first day of your last period” question…) and 2) to really make sure that I was pregnant and not just having a molar pregnancy again….
First thing….they require you to drink 32 oz. of water and “HOLD” it for an hour and then take their sweet time when you get there….I had to wait about an additional 15 mins to be admitted in…I think, under normal circumstances, I would be more patient, but I had been holding on to this for over an hour….and w/the additional gas ;P I was just in pain. So the women opens the lab door, points to me and no joke, I practically run into the office! Did the “bathroom dance” as I was getting undressed and then ran into the lab room. In the room, the tech indicates for me to get on the hospital bed and it was so difficult!!! any amount of bending was painful and then he goes and drips the cold gel AND THEN presses down on my belly with the handheld thingy. I totally know this is procedure but I could not believe how full I was and how painful!
This is when the panic started in. He was searching around and nothing was showing up on the screen. I was looking at my husband’s face and then at the screen and I almost started crying and thinking “here we go again”. I was becoming heartbroken. The tech said for me to empty my bladder and after that waterfall I came back for the internal ultrasound…..I was trying to deal with my feelings and the impending doom when a little dot showed up on screen. I looked at my husband and his eyes were glowing and the tech began measuring so I knew the baby was there!! AMEN!
The tech also measured the heartbeat. We didn’t get to hear the heartbeat but we did see it. Knowing that the tech can’t legally say anything indicating results, so I asked him “oh, is that my heartbeat” and he said “No, that’s the baby’s!” HA!
So that was the semi-expected thing….
The unexpected thing was that the midwife called me today and said that I am 6 weeks and 6 days pregnant! WHAT!!! with this bloated stomach!!!! We were sure that we were about 2/2.5 months pregnant. heheh oh well.
Interesting thing is that that means this baby is our 2 year anniversary present!
so today is the day…(from old blog 8/26/08)
we get our early ultrasound….mostly to find out exactly how far along I am. I went to the midwives yesterday for my first clinic appointment and based on what I told her with my cycles, I can either be 6 weeks or 10 weeks…so there’s a month in question and they ordered the ultrasound. Sigh…..I don’t think that I am just six weeks for that would have meant that I almost knew exactly when we got pregnant. But the funny part is that people had been asking me “so, any morning sickness yet??” as if they can’t wait for me to say “yes, puking my brains out”. Up until this Tuesday, I had been saying nope bc it was true, I wasn’t feeling nauseous or throwing up…well, I spoke too soon for all this week starting Tuesday, just this constant sense of “ugh, I am gonna throw up any moment”….but no vomiting, just quesy feeling. Guess my experience makes some people feel like I’m on the team!
So, I am here drinking my water, waiting for my 2:30 appt….
This is so nerve racking for a year ago, the same situation, but I came home finding out that we had miscarried…..:( I’ve been praying and asking others to pray that there really is a baby inside of me and that it will go all the way to delivery. But, I am a bit nervous……
I will try to post tonight when we get back from the ultrasound….
